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Tell about a famous story that you heard when you were still a kid.

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 10월02일(화) 오후11:51
조회수: 55회
코멘트: 0개

검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation] 
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]

I heard the story about tiger and a dried persim.
When I was a kid, I heard a story about the tiger and the dried persimmon.
Paraphrase the question in your answer.
It is more common to use the article “the” to refer to the specific and particular characters of a story.

One cold winter night, the tiger sought some food somewhere. 
This sentence is correct.

Then, he heard one baby's crying.
Then, he heard baby's crying.
Instead of "one," use the article "a" followed by the possessive case of the noun and a gerund (crying).

The mother of the baby said, “My dear, stop crying. Otherwise, a tiger will come and eat you.”
This sentence is correct.

But the baby didn't stop crying. 
However, the baby didn't stop crying.
Start with a transition word instead of a conjunction

The mother then said, “Dear my baby, I will give you a dried persimmon. Please stop crying.”
The mother then said, My dear baby, I will give you a dried persimmon. Please stop crying.
"Dear" is an adjective, so put it before a noun (baby).

Then strangely, the baby stopped crying at once. 
This sentence is correct.

The tiger got very scared with the dried persimmon and he ran away~
The tiger got very scared of the dried persimmon and he ran away.
As a collocation rule, “Scared” is always followed by the preposition “of” only.
Always end a sentence with a period.

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