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What is your dream job?

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 06월05일(화) 오후10:37
조회수: 26회
코멘트: 0개
검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]

I'm dreaming of being a flight attendant. I try my best to achieve my goal and see myself to be one of the crew members. I'm a considerate, responsible person and I'm a person who has diverse knowledge in service industry. So I think I have qualities to be a flight attendant.


I'm dreaming of being a flight attendant.
I dream of ">becoming a flight attendant.
Although this sentence is structurally correct, you can also use “becoming” instead of “being.” Moreover, use present simple tense. That should be "I dream". "I'm dreaming" is present continuousSimple present tense is used to describe something that happens regularly or something general. Present continuous on the other hand is used to talk about something that is happening NOW.

 

I try my best to achieve my goal and see myself to be one of the crew members.
This sentence is correct.

I'm a considerate, responsible person and I'm a person who has diverse knowledge in service industry.
I'm a considerate, responsible person and I'm a person who has diverse knowledge in the service industry.
Use the article “the” before “service industry”because it is a definite noun.
I'm a considerate and responsible person. I also have a diverse knowledge in the service industry.  


So I think I have qualities to be a flight attendant.
That is why I think I have the qualities needed to be a flight attendant.
Don't start your sentence with "so" in an academic writing. Use a transition word instead.
Use the article the” before “qualities”. You may also consider adding the past participle “needed” to modify “qualities” in order to give further emphasis.

  

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