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The Importance of Eating Meals Together

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 05월22일(화) 오후10:11
조회수: 78회
코멘트: 0개
검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]  

It is important for a family to eat meals together.  Because first, eating a meal with family is not lonely than eating alone. If when I eat meals alone, I can't tell anyone. But, If when I eat meals with my family, I can tell them about what i happened today. Second, I can see face the face of my family. Nowadays most families can't eat meals together. Because they are busy each other. So they can see face the face of their family only weekends. But If they eat meals together, they can have a chance to see the family face. Lastly, eating a meal with family, It makes better the relationship between family members. Because they can be interested in family through conversation. So It is important for a family to eat meals together.
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It is important for a family to eat meals together.
The sentence is correct.

Because first, eating a meal with family is not lonely than eating alone.
First, eating a meal together with family is more pleasurable than eating alone.
Avoid starting a sentence with because, especially in an academic writing. The word because is a conjunction which connects two clauses with similar thoughts. Moreover, since you are comparing two things (eating meals alone vs. eating meals with family), you should use the comparative form of the adjective (example: pretty-prettier, hard-harder, interesting-more interesting. I put the adjective pleasurable in your sentence because it is more fitting.
First off, I think eating meals with other people (not just family) is more pleasurable than eating alone.

If when I eat meals alone, I can't tell anyone. But, If when I eat meals with my family, I can tell them about what i happened today.
When I eat meals alone, I can't talk to anyone. However, when I eat meals with my family, I can talk to them about what happened on that day.
Don't use 'if' and 'when' consecutively in just one sentence. They don't mean the same. 'When' denotes possibility, whereas 'if' denotes an unreal possibility. Avoid using the conjunction but at the beginning of your sentence, particularly in an academic writing. Moreover, 'talk' and 'tell' aren't interchangeable.
When I eat meals alone, I can't talk to anyone. However, when I eat meals with my family, I can talk to them and tell them about my day.

Second, I can see face the face of my family.
Second, I can see  the face of my family.
.When you talk and see a person face to face, the correct term to use is ' personally' or 'in person'. You can write your sentence like this:
The second reason is that when I eat meals with my family, I can see them personally.  

Nowadays most families can't eat meals together. Because they are busy each other.  So they can see face the face of their family only weekends.
Nowadays many families don't eat meals together because each family member is busy, so they only see one another during weekends.
Use don't instead of can'tDon't implies the ability to do something but there is unwillingness to do it, whereas can't conveys the definite fact of not having the skill at all. Use see one another as it means you are talking about more than two persons. Use 'personally' or 'in person' if you mean talking and seeing somebody's presence. 

But If they eat meals together, they can have a chance to see the family face.
However, if they eat meals together, they'll have the chance to see one another and talk in person.
Use see one another when talking about more than two people. Talk in person is more suitable so as to avoid repetition of words; you've used face to face many times already. 


Lastly, eating a meal with family, It makes better the relationship between family members. Because they can be interested in family through conversation.
Lastly, eating a meal with family makes the relationship between family members better because it makes each member interested with each other through conversation.
Make better can be separated. That means you can insert a word or phrase between them. Use the pronoun it not they because you're referring to the subject, eating a meal with family. 
Lastly, eating meals with family promotes a healthier relationship between family members because it opens lines of communication

So It is important for a family to eat meals together.
So, it is important for a family to eat meals together.
Add a comma (,) after so if you are going to use it at the beginning of your sentence. Do not capitalize the letter 'I' in it unless it is the first word in your sentence.
Therefore, I believe it's important for a family to eat meals together.

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