HOME > community > writing

The Importance of Eating Meals Together

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 05월22일(화) 오후10:11
조회수: 112회
코멘트: 0개
검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]  

It is important for a family to eat meals together.  Because first, eating a meal with family is not lonely than eating alone. If when I eat meals alone, I can't tell anyone. But, If when I eat meals with my family, I can tell them about what i happened today. Second, I can see face the face of my family. Nowadays most families can't eat meals together. Because they are busy each other. So they can see face the face of their family only weekends. But If they eat meals together, they can have a chance to see the family face. Lastly, eating a meal with family, It makes better the relationship between family members. Because they can be interested in family through conversation. So It is important for a family to eat meals together.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is important for a family to eat meals together.
The sentence is correct.

Because first, eating a meal with family is not lonely than eating alone.
First, eating a meal together with family is more pleasurable than eating alone.
Avoid starting a sentence with because, especially in an academic writing. The word because is a conjunction which connects two clauses with similar thoughts. Moreover, since you are comparing two things (eating meals alone vs. eating meals with family), you should use the comparative form of the adjective (example: pretty-prettier, hard-harder, interesting-more interesting. I put the adjective pleasurable in your sentence because it is more fitting.
First off, I think eating meals with other people (not just family) is more pleasurable than eating alone.

If when I eat meals alone, I can't tell anyone. But, If when I eat meals with my family, I can tell them about what i happened today.
When I eat meals alone, I can't talk to anyone. However, when I eat meals with my family, I can talk to them about what happened on that day.
Don't use 'if' and 'when' consecutively in just one sentence. They don't mean the same. 'When' denotes possibility, whereas 'if' denotes an unreal possibility. Avoid using the conjunction but at the beginning of your sentence, particularly in an academic writing. Moreover, 'talk' and 'tell' aren't interchangeable.
When I eat meals alone, I can't talk to anyone. However, when I eat meals with my family, I can talk to them and tell them about my day.

Second, I can see face the face of my family.
Second, I can see  the face of my family.
.When you talk and see a person face to face, the correct term to use is ' personally' or 'in person'. You can write your sentence like this:
The second reason is that when I eat meals with my family, I can see them personally.  

Nowadays most families can't eat meals together. Because they are busy each other.  So they can see face the face of their family only weekends.
Nowadays many families don't eat meals together because each family member is busy, so they only see one another during weekends.
Use don't instead of can'tDon't implies the ability to do something but there is unwillingness to do it, whereas can't conveys the definite fact of not having the skill at all. Use see one another as it means you are talking about more than two persons. Use 'personally' or 'in person' if you mean talking and seeing somebody's presence. 

But If they eat meals together, they can have a chance to see the family face.
However, if they eat meals together, they'll have the chance to see one another and talk in person.
Use see one another when talking about more than two people. Talk in person is more suitable so as to avoid repetition of words; you've used face to face many times already. 


Lastly, eating a meal with family, It makes better the relationship between family members. Because they can be interested in family through conversation.
Lastly, eating a meal with family makes the relationship between family members better because it makes each member interested with each other through conversation.
Make better can be separated. That means you can insert a word or phrase between them. Use the pronoun it not they because you're referring to the subject, eating a meal with family. 
Lastly, eating meals with family promotes a healthier relationship between family members because it opens lines of communication

So It is important for a family to eat meals together.
So, it is important for a family to eat meals together.
Add a comma (,) after so if you are going to use it at the beginning of your sentence. Do not capitalize the letter 'I' in it unless it is the first word in your sentence.
Therefore, I believe it's important for a family to eat meals together.

새로운 코멘트 작성

공감: 23건
코드가 잘 보이지 않으면 새로고침을 눌러주세요. Reset
'The Importance of Eating Meals Together' | Total: 0개
List all Write Vote
Reply
목차 제목 작성자 작성일
756  Vacation  cnc36 2018/12/11
755  How important is time management?  cnc36 2018/12/07
754  5 Wh -Questions  cnc36 2018/12/04
753  Do you Like eating street food? Why or why not?  cnc36 2018/11/27
752  Talk about a time when you got lost  cnc36 2018/11/21
751  Diet  cnc36 2018/11/16
750  What talent do you wish you had?  cnc36 2018/11/13
749  How important is time management?  cnc36 2018/11/09
748  What kind of person do you usually hang out with?  cnc36 2018/11/06
747  Why do people have different eye colors?  cnc36 2018/10/26
746  My Best Friend  cnc36 2018/10/23
745  What is your dream job?  cnc36 2018/10/19
744  Is your idea of success the same as your parents' idea of success?  cnc36 2018/10/16
743  What's in your living room?  cnc36 2018/10/12
742  Why do patients need to undergo a series of tests to diagnose their illness?  cnc36 2018/10/09
741  Why do you think eyes have different colors?  cnc36 2018/10/05
740  Tell about a famous story that you heard when you were still a kid.  cnc36 2018/10/02
739  What products of food science and biotechnology do you use in your daily life?  cnc36 2018/09/28
738  Do you like meeting new people? Why or why not?  cnc36 2018/09/21
737  -ing and -ed Adjectives  cnc36 2018/09/18

This content feed(RSS). | Total 756 | New: 10 | This Page: 1

Image ResizeImage Resize