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The Most Memorable Birthday Celebration

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 04월18일(수) 오후07:29
조회수: 75회
코멘트: 0개
검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]


it’s hard to write for me because I don't think that birthday is important day so I decided to tell story of my friend when I was in middle school, I was invited her birthday celebration. she is not my friend ( I have never get along with her ) she just invited me because I was friend of her friend it’s so weird for me but I attended because she said “just bring your self I will take care of everything” it was awesome than I thought! she gave me a hamburger and coke. and her friends are kind and nice  and we went to Karaoke room one of the her friends is really good at sinning song  I was touched :) ha ha  I am done my homework!  thank you for reading  


it’s hard to write for me because I don't think that birthday is important day so I decided to tell story of my friend when I was in middle school,
It's hard for me to write about the most memorable birthday celebration because I don't think birthday is an important day so I decided to tell the story of my friend when I was in middle school.
-> Always start your sentence with a capital letter.
-> You use "an" (not "a") when the next word (adverb, adjective, noun) starts with a vowel sound.
-> Use the article "the" because you're referring to a particular countable noun which is the story of your friend.
-> End your sentence with a period.


I was invited her birthday celebration.
I was invited to her birthday celebration.
-> Add the preposition "to" in your sentence. In your sentence, "to" is used to indicate a goal or a direction of movement, which is "her birthday party."

she is not my friend ( I have never get along with her )
She was not my friend and I had never gotten along with her.
-> Always start your sentence with a capital letter.
-> Your sentences should be parallel. If you use past tense of the verb, then your next verb should be in its past form also unless the thought/ situation is changed. Use "gotten" instead of "get" because your sentence is in its past perfect form, which means that the action was completed at some time in the past. Therefore, had+past participle (had gotten). 
-> You can use the conjunction "and" instead of using parenthesis and end your sentence with a period.


she just invited me because I was friend of her friend
She just invited me because I was a friend of her friend.
-> Start your sentence with a capital letter and end it with a period.
-> Add the article "a" because "friend" is a noun.


it’s so weird for me but I attended because she said “just bring your self I will take care of everything”
It was so weird for me but I attended because she said, "Just bring yourself and I will take care of everything."
-> Avoid contractions in your sentences particularly when you're using the past form of your verb. "It's" could mean, "It is."
->Be aware of parallelisms in your verb tenses.
->You should add the conjunction "and" because your sentence has two clauses that should be separated by a conjunction.
 
I felt so weird at that time, but I still attended because she gave me the assurance that she will take care of everything.

it was awesome than I thought!
It was more awesome than I thought!
-> Start your sentence with a capital letter.
->Add the word "more" because you used the word "than."

she gave me a hamburger and coke.
She gave me a hamburger and coke. 
This is a correct sentence. However, capitalized the first letter of your sentence. 
-> Add the article "a" because they are not compound nouns
.

and her friends are kind and nice and we went to Karaoke room one of the her friends is really
good at sinning song I was touched
Her friends were kind and nice. We went to the karaoke room and one of her friends was really good at singing.
I was touched.

->Don't start your sentence with "and".
->Don't capitalize the word "karaoke" because it is not a proper noun.
->Add the article "the" before karaoke because you are referring to specific karaoke room.
->You don't need to put "the" before the word "her."
->Be consistent of your verb tenses ( parallelism).
->You don't need to use the word "song" because it is understandable that if you are singing, you are singing a song. It would be redundant then. 
->Always put punctuation marks every time you will end your sentences.
->Please, be aware when you should end your sentence  and when you should continue it.

:) ha ha I am done my homework! thank you for reading
I am done with my homework! Thank you for reading.
-> Add "with" because you're relating to your homework.

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