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For the 6th of March Homewrok

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 03월09일(금) 오후11:05
조회수: 127회
코멘트: 0개
Q. What is the real relationship between food, fitness, and weight? Depends on the foods you take, it affects to your body health indeed. Some people try to lose weight with eating vegetables and fresh fishes. On the other hand, some people are very fat and overweight because they eat fastfoods such as hamburger and pizza. When we look over the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of foods including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on. To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with fully nutrient.

검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence] 
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence] green
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Corrections:
  

What is the real relationship between food, fitness, and weight?

Depends on the foods you take, it affects to your body health indeed.
Depends on the food you take, it affects to your body health indeed.
Use food as an uncountable noun if you mean to say food in general.
The kind of food you eat affects your body's health. 

Some people try to lose weight with eating vegetables and fresh fishes.
Some people try to lose weight by eating vegetables and fresh fish.
Use by instead of with.  By is used to indicate a mean or method.
Use fish when you mean fish in general.


On the other hand, some people are very fat and overweight because they eat fastfoodssuch as hamburger and pizza.
On the other hand, some people are overweight because they eat in the fast food such as hamburger and pizza.
Omit the word very fat to avoid redundancy in the sentence.
"Fast food" are separated and is considered as uncountable noun.



When we look over the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of foods including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on.
When we look at the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of food.
Use at instead of over. At is used to say where something/somebody is or where something happens.  Omit the  (including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on) to avoid redundancy.


To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with fully nutrient.
To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with complete nutrients. 
Be careful of your word usage.

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