HOME > community > writing

For the 6th of March Homewrok

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 03월09일(금) 오후11:05
조회수: 213회
코멘트: 0개
Q. What is the real relationship between food, fitness, and weight? Depends on the foods you take, it affects to your body health indeed. Some people try to lose weight with eating vegetables and fresh fishes. On the other hand, some people are very fat and overweight because they eat fastfoods such as hamburger and pizza. When we look over the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of foods including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on. To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with fully nutrient.

검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence] 
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence] green
************************************************

Corrections:
  

What is the real relationship between food, fitness, and weight?

Depends on the foods you take, it affects to your body health indeed.
Depends on the food you take, it affects to your body health indeed.
Use food as an uncountable noun if you mean to say food in general.
The kind of food you eat affects your body's health. 

Some people try to lose weight with eating vegetables and fresh fishes.
Some people try to lose weight by eating vegetables and fresh fish.
Use by instead of with.  By is used to indicate a mean or method.
Use fish when you mean fish in general.


On the other hand, some people are very fat and overweight because they eat fastfoodssuch as hamburger and pizza.
On the other hand, some people are overweight because they eat in the fast food such as hamburger and pizza.
Omit the word very fat to avoid redundancy in the sentence.
"Fast food" are separated and is considered as uncountable noun.



When we look over the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of foods including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on.
When we look at the people who take care of their health, they usually get almost every nutriment from variety of food.
Use at instead of over. At is used to say where something/somebody is or where something happens.  Omit the  (including vitamines, carbohydrate, protein and so on) to avoid redundancy.


To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with fully nutrient.
To sum up, taking foods tells who we are and it is very important to be fit with complete nutrients. 
Be careful of your word usage.

새로운 코멘트 작성

공감: 56건
코드가 잘 보이지 않으면 새로고침을 눌러주세요. Reset
'For the 6th of March Homewrok' | Total: 0개
List all Write Vote
Reply
목차 제목 작성자 작성일
227  Do you like meeting new people? Why or why not?  cnc36 2018/09/21
226  -ing and -ed Adjectives  cnc36 2018/09/18
225  What do you think is the best way to learn English?  cnc36 2018/09/14
224  What are the characteristics of a good citizen?  cnc36 2018/09/11
223  Do you think that Koreans have to eat kimchi as a part of their national identity?  cnc36 2018/09/07
222  Which do you prefer? Eating in a restaurant or in a hotel?  cnc36 2018/09/04
221  What are your ingredients to have a good life?  cnc36 2018/08/29
220   What do you do to improve your health?  cnc36 2018/08/24
219  What kind of person do you dislike?  cnc36 2018/08/22
218  Do you think we can continue these preservation methods in the future? Why? Why not?  cnc36 2018/08/17
217  Make five sentences using possessive adjectives.  cnc36 2018/08/14
216  Make a list on how can you prevent gum diseases  cnc36 2018/08/10
215  Is your idea of success the same as your parents' idea of success?  cnc36 2018/08/07
214  Why is it important for people to develop their self-care skills?  cnc36 2018/08/03
213  I like meeting people!  cnc36 2018/08/01
212  Dogs are said to be man's best friend. Do you agree or not?  cnc36 2018/07/24
211  Writing Topic: What are the factors to consider when choosing what to eat?  cnc36 2018/07/20
210  How I Spend My Leisure Time  cnc36 2018/07/17
209  The Country I visited  cnc36 2018/07/13
208  Describe Your Typical and Ideal Lunch  cnc36 2018/07/10

This content feed(RSS). | Total 227 | New: 0 | This Page: 1

Image ResizeImage Resize