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Tell about a time you suppressed your emotions

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 06월29일(금) 오후07:39
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코멘트: 0개
When I did volunteer work at a kindergarten for children with disabilities, I played with one autistic child. The boy was very timid. So, I should treat him attentively and suppress the sympathy that I felt a lot of for him, in order to do not hurt his delicate mind.

검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]

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Corrections: 


When I did volunteer work at a kindergarten for children with disabilities, I played with one autistic child.
This sentence is correct.

The boy was very timid. So, I should treat him attentively and suppress the sympathy that I felt a lot of for him, in order to do not hurt his delicate mind.
The boy was very timid, so I should treat him attentively and suppress the sympathy that I felt for him in order not to hurt his delicate mind.
As the first sentence is short, you may blend the two sentences into one. It is not advised that you start your sentence with "so". Instead of saying 'in order to do not...' you can simply say 'in order not to...' Make sure to arrange the words properly.
The boy was very timid, that I saw the need to treat him attentively and to suppress the sympathy that I felt for him in order not to hurt his delicate mind.  

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