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If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Why?

작성자: cnc36
작성일: 2018년 05월15일(화) 오후10:36
조회수: 67회
코멘트: 0개
검은색:학생영작=> [Student's sentence]
파란색:수정문장=> [Corrected sentence]
빨간색:문법설명=> [Grammar explanation]
초록색:나은문장=> [Better sentence]  

If I could have any job in the world, I want to be a cook.
 This is a correct sentences.

First, I want to help people who do not have money through my cooking.
This sentence is correct.
First, I want to help those who don't have enough money to buy food.

In the world, there are many people who die because they don't have enough money, so they can't eat rice. If I become a chef, I will provide my cuisine to the poor for free.
In this world, there are many people who die because they could not afford to buy rice. If I become a chef, I will provide my cuisine to the poor for free.
Rather than using "don't have enough money," try to use "couldn't afford" because this suits your sentence better.
In this world, there are lots of people who die because they could not afford to buy their own food. If I become a chef, I will serve my cuisine to the poor for free.

Secondly, I like cooking. So If I become chef, I will be happy to work. Whatever I do, I ought to be happy. Because doing something that is not happy can not last long.
Secondly, I like cooking. So, if I became chef, I will be happy to work. Whatever I do, I ought to be happy because you would not last in any job that you do not like.
Put a comma (,) after "so" if you use it to start your sentence. Avoid starting you sentence with because unless it's in a complete thought or independent clause. 
Secondly, I like cooking. So, if I become chef, I will be happy with my work because I believe that in whatever I do, I ought to be happy.  You would not last in any job that you do not like it.   

Lastly, I want to succeed. I want to be rich and devoted to my parents. My parents always try hard for me. What I can do to repay their efforts is to succeed. So, I want to be a cook.
So, I want to be a cook.
Always put a comma (,) after "so" if you begin your sentence with it.
Lastly, I want to be rich and successful for my parents because I am devoted to them, and this is the least that I can do to repay them for their efforts of helping me succeed. These are my reasons for wanting to be a cook.

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